The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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