a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
