Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize