I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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