If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
