The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
