i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
