watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
