I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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