I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize