It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
All the doctor said was why
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
