well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize