A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
