ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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