You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
