Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
