he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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