I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
