please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize