Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
