i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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