He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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