Christians are straight up FREAKS
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
