Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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