I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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