actually, I'm a sock model
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
