"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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