just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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