the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
