the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
