So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Randomize
