woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
