she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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