I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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