they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize