How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
