you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
My life is pants optional.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
