Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
