I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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