I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
