WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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