i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
soo... how was my night?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
