terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
She told me I should be a condom model.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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