Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
