can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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