like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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