Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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