Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize