atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
