At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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