I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
