I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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