this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize
