So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize