I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
