I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
