Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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