Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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