Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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