Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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