bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
