Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
