If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
